Unveiled Graces

How to Live Through a Storm As Irma continued to creep near, a weight bore through my soul.   From the current weather, no one would suspect a storm was brewing.   My twin sister resides on the bay in St. Petersburg.   While her family is safely nestled with my parents, most of their worldly goods lie vulnerable to the hurricane’s wrath.   A cyclone of such magnitude has not targeted the Tampa Bay area in almost one hundred years.   It seems that recently, our world has suffered an increasing number of life storms, whether they be meteorological or metaphorical.   We clean up from one disaster only to turn on the news to learn of another.   How do we find hope in the storm? This evening, God helped show me a glimmer of His grace. My church decided to act and make cleaning kits for those affected by Irma.   I gathered my children and we discussed how many kits to make as a family.   I told them that each kit had a shipping ...

Things you cannot get away with as an adult (but you secretly want to do): Go trick-or-treating (without a child) Eat a Ring-Pop while on your finger or any other piece of candy jewelry for that matter Carry a stuffed animal around Jump in a bounce house Eat Bugles off your fingers like they are your nails Swing high on a swing set Twirl in a meadow and pretend you are Maria in the Sound of Music Jump is puddles when it’s raining Jump on a trampoline Say whatever comes to your mind Wear mismatched clothes because it’s fun Chase an ice cream truck Catch fireflies Scream at a scary movie Run when you must go to the restroom I would love for you to add your own in the comment section! ~CW

My daughter begged to ride her purple bike all day.  The day had been grueling from sunup.  Labor Day was exactly that, full of labor.  Yet, her pleas continued like the persistent widow in the New Testament.  I finally relinquished after dinner. As she fastened her lavender kitten helmet, she could barely contain her enthusiasm.  I rallied and gave myself a pep talk.  It was a beautiful evening. We had made it a grand total of 100 feet when my daughter started complaining.  She wanted to push her bike instead of ride it.  After a little coaching, she peddled up the street.  We made it three-quarters of the way around the block and she suddenly stops.   "Mom, I can't make it!" my daughter cries.   "Yes you can.  We are almost home."  I tell her. "No. I am finished."  She declares. "Kaitlyn, we haven't made it home yet.  You can't give up." At that point, she gets off the bike and sits down. ...

Today, as I sit at my computer, I try to sort out God's plan for my life.  Easy right?  At 35, I thought I would be established in an area of Christian ministry.  I felt God's call on my life in 7th grade and went straight through college and on to seminary with that trajectory in mind.  Yet, currently, I hold no position. For complete transparency, I have yet to serve full-time capacity in ministry.  I have never doubted God's call on my life.  At times, I have certainly hesitated in my own abilities, but I have always known my life's purpose is to serve the Lord. So, how have I handled my expectations not meeting my reality?  I sat down and prayed through this question.  Below is what God taught me: 1. My expectations are not my god . I know that for a time in my life I was so focused on ministry, I allowed my personal relationship with Christ to suffer.  Working for the Kingdom does not equate with a love relationship with the Kin...

This is a post from a few years ago, but I think that it still applies today... Tonight, I asked my son who his best friend at school was.  He told me a name and then I proceeded to ask if they played together on the playground.  He said, "no, he already has friends."  I then began to pry a little farther and asked who he DID play with on the playground.  My kindergartner nonchalantly responded, "well, everyone already has someone to play with, so I play by myself."  In that moment, I felt a part of me wither inside.  I immediately started going into action mode, thinking of the letter I would write to the teacher, making sure that my son was included in activities.  I then stopped to pray.  I asked myself, "Is this really the crisis you are making it out to be?"  Your son is confident, happy, and feels secure in who he is. We have worked hard in our household to let our children be who they are and tell them to live as Chris...

I am sitting at a local coffee shop reading an article of the self-revelation and self-fulfillment of a "Christian mommy blogger."  In the article, she is quoted as saying, "you enter the process of deciding whether you are going to risk every single thing in your life to have the one thing you always wanted. 1 "  In her case, it is a love relationship with another woman.  My heart weighs heavily as I continue reading.  My concern is not the woman's decision about her relationship, but rather her philosophy of hedonism.  We increasingly have become a society that celebrates finding our own truth and promoting the search for self-fulfillment.  God, Jesus, or whatever other name someone wants to attach to the Supreme is merely a means of self-enlightenment.  We use others for our own advantage.  There is no room for sacrifice or dying to self.  I feel overwhelmed.  How can I, a "Christian mommy blogger," c...

    I am the proud owner of a tyrant.   In the seven months of dog ownership, Rusty has eaten through thousands of dollars of property.   In the last week alone, he has broken the screen porch, jumped the fence, chewed through rope, broken his chain, and eaten the swing cushion.   This morning, when my next-door neighbor brought him home, I almost declined her gift.   While I love my dog, my affection for him has waned as his behavior continues to decline.   This proves my imperfect humanity.   I am so thankful that I am a child of a perfect God.   He never tires of my imperfections and mistakes.   I think of how many thousands of dollars or how many hours I have wasted, yet God’s affection for me does not waver.   His love never fails.   Jerry Bridges writes, “ God’s unfailing love for us is an objective fact affirmed over and over in the Scriptures. It is true whether we believe it or not. Our doub...

I am not a perfect mom.  Let's take it a step further.  I am not a Pinterest mom. I don't have cutesy craft projects displayed in my house (I admire those who do). Most of my meals I make come from the freezer (I wish they didn't). When I drop off my kids at school, I am still wearing my pajamas and I pray that I don't have to go inside for anything. My frustration rises when my children argue continuously in the car after I tell them to stop. When I compare myself to that stand out lady in Proverbs 31, I think, "there is NO WAY."  Not even on my best day.  I actually tried to "be" the Proverbs 31 woman for 31 days.  I made it to day four and quit. In my Proverbs 31 woman experiment I learned something though.  You don't have to be the "perfect" wife and mom to make a difference in the kingdom of God and the life of your family.  That is where Christ takes over and grace abounds.  I believe that the Proverbs 31 woman is being a wom...

In 2013, the comedic band, Ylvis, released a dance novelty song that became an unintentional hit. "The Fox" explored the question, "what sound does a fox make?", leading millions to investigate the answer for themselves.  In the end, the duo made a fortune, the world knows the vast array of vocalizations of the fox, and you now have a very catchy song in your head.  :) I digress.  The question about the fox intrigued because we did not know the answer.  Perhaps a fox had no voice.  While a fox does indeed cry, whimper, and scream, there are animals that do not communicate by sound.  More importantly, there are people who choose not to use their voices. Self-imposed silence has been practiced since the time of Pythagoras, which was around 500 BC.  It is used as a way to bring focus to their lives or their relationship with God.  While I have never taken a personal vow of silence, I do believe that I have become more quiet over the past several...

When I was a teenager, I loved daisies.  One year, I decided to plant daisies from seed.  After the first batch grew and bloomed, the pods withered and died.  A friend told me that I could take dead heads and spread the seeds.  I did what he told me, and the following year, the size of my garden multiplied ten fold! Jesus said in John 12:24-26, "   Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25  Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26  Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me." These may be difficult words at first.  However, the more I grow in my understanding and love for Christ, the easier these words become.  This life I live is not about me.  There are many mom...

When I decided to start blogging again, my mission statement was, "seeking transformation through authenticity." As I started this week, familiar whispers of insecurities began to resurface.  I perused the beautiful Easter pictures on Facebook and saw how many people "liked" everyone else's photos. Compared to my own pictures' status, I felt insignificant.  Knowing that this was no proper self-evaluation, I turned off the computer and went for a walk.  While I walked, God's grace poured over me. In the crisp morning dew, a small wren munched a bug.  I was reminded of Matthew 6:26-27 which says, " 26  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"  My concerns for popularity seemed quite trivial in comparison to the significance of God's love and provision f...

This morning, I asked my kids if they knew what Jesus did on the Monday of Holy Week.   When they said that they did not, I told them that He cleansed the temple.   They wanted to know more, but seeing that the teacher was about to open the car door, I told them we would discuss it further this afternoon.   I decided to review the story this morning.   God reminded me the reason Jesus cleansed the temple.   The people had neglected the original purpose of the temple.   Matthew 21:13 records Jesus reciting Isaiah 56:7, “my house will be called a house of prayer.” Instead, Jesus states they were making it a “den of thieves,” recalling Jeremiah 7:12.”   As I thought about this passage, I began to ponder the implications to my own life.   Most people who know me would consider me a fairly honest person.   I try to help others and I do not intentionally hurt people.   However, the more I reflected on this passage, the more the quest...

This morning, my dog Rusty and I went  for a walk around our neighborhood.  He loves these small adventures away from the backyard.  As we walked our loop, I inhaled the newness of spring and was reminded of how blessed I truly am.  I gloried in watching my pup point at the nearby squirrels.  I thanked my Creator for the changing of the seasons.  I allowed my spirit to simply be in the moment.  I realized afterwards how I do not often make a practice of being still in the sense of allowing my soul to rest and take in what God has for me.  I approach Scripture as I do a workout at a gym.  I think to myself that it is time to dig in and get after it.  I do not approach it as a stroll with my dog, taking my time and allowing it to speak to my soul.  However, both are important.  Physically, gyms allow you to build up and gain strength.  Yet, strolls allow you to relieve stress and relax.  Perhaps there is a spiritual ...

Right now, my feelings are raw.  As I type, my husband sits with our Labrador, Sophie, as she takes her last breath of life.  I have always held the perspective that a dog is a pet and not a person mentality.  Yet, today, Sophie feels like family. It is hard to say goodbye.  Ultimately, God did not design us for goodbyes.  At Creation, there was no goodbye.  However, sin introduced the first goodbye (that is for a later post).  Since that time, creation has groaned at each thought of goodbye. Everyone responds in his or her own way.  We shed tears, gather with friends, cry out to God, reach for a bottle, or take to bed.  Some ideas of grief are healthier than others.  Yet, the healthier choices do not make them any easier.  In complete transparency, my go to in grief is cleaning.  For those who know me, this might be surprising.  However, I feel that I have some sense of control over what I clean.  All th...

I will admit it.  I am obsessed with the latest podcast trend, "Missing Richard Simmons."  How could I not be?  I spent many hours rocking out to  Sweatin' To The Oldies Part 2 when I was sixteen.  Here is what I find fascinating about the podcast though.  Simmons has not been seen in public since February 2014.  Yet, this is suddenly a major news story three years later???  I find the fact that society can all of a sudden become obsessed with someone who has been missing for three entire years more fascinating than the actual search for the individual. This podcast made me think of people who I had allowed to slip away into the abyss of nonchalance in my own life.  People for whom I cared, but because of busyness or circumstances, they simply faded from my life.  As I began to catalogue these friends, I not only felt a feeling of loss, but also a sense of responsibility to culti...

Scrubbing toilets is an act of worship for me.  Perhaps I should explain.  When I was a senior in college, I sought God's wisdom for His direction for my life.  Since I was a child, I felt called into Christian service.  With graduation looming, I spent an evening praying in the College Chapel.  My divine revelation was not quite what I expected. As I prayed and reflected on Scripture, Matthew 5 pervaded my thoughts.  I committed to the Father that if He called me to scrub toilets for Him, my prayer was to scrub them joyfully, out of gratitude for all He had done for me.  Not long after my experience in my collegiate chapel, I was blessed with a job at a church.  Since that time, I have served in several "ministerial" capacities.  But, God has also had other plans for my life as well.  Currently, I am not on staff at a church.  Yet, this morning, as I scrubbed my toilets, I rejoiced as I do most "toilet days"....

"Playing the violin makes me want to die!" These are words no music instructor wants to hear her student cry out in the middle of a lesson.  I calmly list all the great qualities of the treble instrument.  Within the thirty minute meltdown, the student dropped the violin, almost poked me in the eye with a bow, and threw a massive tantrum.  By the end of the lesson, when she declared she wanted to quit, I almost gave her a high-five.  With the last amount of patience I had in me, I told her to go home and think about her decision and about how much she desired to play the violin when she started.  I encouraged her that as she continued to practice, the violin would not seem so difficult. Later that evening, as I vented to my husband, God convicted me of my words of judgment.  I only knew of her performance during the thirty minutes a week she was in studio.  I didn't know her story, but I knew she had needs.  She needed ...

The other morning my son came into my bedroom as he does every morning.  After a momentary greeting, I told him to wake his sister by turning on the light and saying good morning to her.  Now, every morning, he turns on the HALLWAY light, which then wakes my daughter.  Therefore, I did not feel the need to specify which light he was to illuminate.  A few moments later, I hear a high-pitched squeal, "That was SO MEAN!"  Apparently, my son decided to turn on my daughter's bedroom light in order to see that she awoke at the proper time.  I quickly jumped up and apologized to my little girl.  My assumption cost my daughter a rude awakening. So often, we carelessly throw our words around through either idle chatter, careless assumptions, or other forms of hurtful speech.  The Bible has much to say about how our words matter.  Proverbs 21:23 states, "Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble."  This small vers...

The other day, I asked my children to help clean the house.  As they were cleaning, I continued to hear them use a phrase over and over again.  When I asked one of them to pick up a particular toy, their response would be, "It's not mine.  I'm not doing it."  The defiance surprised me, as my children normally are very helpful.  I began to pray about the situation.  Later in the afternoon, I started hanging up my husband's dress shirts, still thinking about my children's lack of cooperation.  Suddenly, an image of Jesus on the cross appeared in my mind with the caption, "It's Not Mine."  I paused at the enormity of the image. I gathered my thoughts and then called my children together.  I asked them if they ever noticed me picking up items around the house that were not my own, to which they nodded their heads.  I then asked them why they thought I did these things.  My daughter replied that it was because I loved them....

My son, Daniel, recently had a school project where he had to build an ecosystem. I head with him to PetSmart thinking we would get a goldfish or a beta fish, place it in a bowl, add some gravel and a plant and voila, an ecosystem.  My son had other plans in mind. An hour later, we come home with a terrarium, a tree frog, the makings of a forest, and canned crickets.  My son names his new pet, sets up his ecosystem and we are well on our way to lasting pet bliss.  That is, until the frog refuses to eat the dead crickets. We take the frog to school and Daniel frets over the pet for another day.  I look online and discover that tree frogs like to eat their crickets alive.  So, today, Valentine's Day, I travel to two bait shops and then finally back to the pet store to purchase LIVE crickets for the tree frog. I arrive at my son's school and take the tiny creatures to his classroom.  He runs up to me with the biggest smile on hi...

Yesterday, I learned a lesson about choosing the most important thing.  My daughter's grade had their annual showcase at their school.  She was very excited to share all she has accomplished so far this school year with me.  Typically, I teach music lessons on Thursday nights.  In the past, I would not have wanted to rearrange my schedule out of fear of seeming unprofessional or disappointing my clients.  However, as continued to think and pray about the upcoming event, God started to reveal to me that asking my students to reschedule might be an inconvenience.  However, to not show up for my little girl would send a message that would resound within her heart much longer. I quickly began to phone my clients and explained the situation.  Everyone was gracious and my daughter was overjoyed that I made time to come to her performance.  Throughout the night my daughter beamed as she danced through the hallways, sharing the inne...

The other day, I noticed that our fish tank needed water added to it.  As I was filling up a container, my husband reminded me not to mix the new water with the old because of the temperature difference.  So, I let the water sit for a while, added the dechlorinator, and poured the water in the tank.  I then noticed that the tank still was not full.  My impatience however took control.  I felt of the water and estimated the same temperature with the new water. I then added this new mixture to the tank.  The following day, we had a dead fish.  Within a week, we lost two more fish.  Now, I don't KNOW that it was my impatience with the water that killed half the fish, but I have a good suspicion.  Proverbs 19:2 says, Desire without knowledge is not good—      how much more will hasty feet miss the way!   This small verse carries much wisdom!  It basically says when we want to do something wi...

Our family has recently discovered the game, RISK.  For those of you not familiar with the game, the goal is to take over the world, territory by territory.  To date, my husband is undefeated.  This last time we played, I decided to play offense.  After a victorious campaign across Brazil, I felt rather satisfied....until it was my husband's move.  The "enemy" mobilized his troops and prepared war.  I was left completely defenseless because, in my pride, I risked everything to take over the opposing territories.  Soon, my entire army was destroyed.  I came in last place, behind my six year old daughter and my nine year old son. As I sat and watched the rest of the game, I though about my fatal mistake.  In my pride, I forgot that there was an enemy lurking in the shadows.  This seems to be the case in my Christian walk as well.  It is when I THINK things are going well, that I am the most likely to fall.  Paul gives wise ad...

I went to turn on my vacuum today, and all of a sudden, EVERYTHING smelled musty.  "That's weird,"  I thought to myself. Then, I realized.  I had placed the filter back in the vacuum while it was still a little damp.  It probably had mildewed.  Great !  There is such a biblical truth to my lousy housekeeping.  If there is mold in your filter, everything is going to stink .  I think Jesus puts it a little more eloquently in Luke 6:45.  He says,  "   A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." The words we speak come from an overflow of the heart.  I have sometimes said things and it wasn't until after I said the words, I realized how terrible they sounded.  However, the issue was not with the words themselves, but rather ...

Last night, I decided that I was going to paint my nails.   As a violinist, I will never have the nails of a hand model.   But, I figured I could at least have them shiny and polished for a change.   After taking my daughter to ballet and fixing dinner for the kids, I sat down to pamper myself.   During my manicure, my son calls out, “Mom, I don’t feel so good.”   Fast forward ten minutes...I now have my son in the recliner, sipping on Gatorade.   My hair is in a bun and a mop is in in my hand.   There is no time for the paint to dry on my nails. As I think about the whirlwind of activity that took place last night, looking at the chipped paint on my fingers, there is a certain amount of peace that accompanies me. I would much rather have chipped nails and a comforted son.   This morning I am reminded of Isaiah 52:7 which says: How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who...

I remember my wedding day like it was yesterday.  Even though it has been almost eleven years now, I will never forget the look on my husband’s face the first time he saw me walk down the aisle.  I decided that I would not wear a blusher with my veil.  I did this, not because I wanted my outward beauty to radiate on my wedding day, but rather, because I wanted my soon to be husband to see my genuine reaction when I saw him for the first time. Authenticity is a core trait God is refining in me as a believer.  Second Corinthians 3:17-18 states, “ 17  Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18  And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”  As believers, we are given the precious gift of access to God and freedom in Christ.  If we are leased from the judgement...